Debbie “Negrita” Robinson — Jacksonville, Florida

The day my world as I knew came crashing down It was mid -January, exactly one week before me and my husband would go on our second cruise. The first one was the September before. We had a great time but something was off. He didn’t seem that into it, my parents were with us so I didn’t know if that played a part in it so I booked our second one without them. We were really stressed, our teenage daughter had been going through some things and it had taken a toll at home. He was working late nights, getting a lot of after-hours work calls. It concerned me but I really thought my husband was having a difficult time dealing with the things our daughter was going through. We have been together for 16 years with 3 beautiful children. We had our share of up and downs but I really felt in my heart we were in a good place. He was my best friend. Our bond was solid. We were that couple that all our friends envied. We were just going through a rough patch. So here I am 7 days from sailing into the Caribbean with my best friend and lover. We worked for the same company so when his supervisor called me I didn’t think anything of it. She told me she had been trying to reach him all day without success. I told her that was odd because his phone was next to him on his nightstand where he slept and I didn’t hear it go off one time. I never go through my husband’s phone or wallet or car..I just don’t do it; I didn’t feel like I had any reason to. I didn’t want to wake him so I picked up his phone to see if there were any missed calls, he didn’t have a password protected so I simply swiped and there it was. A texting app was open, I didn’t even have to look for it, I didn’t have to snoop. At the top of the already opened window read “Debra” she was complaining that she didn’t like the way he talked to her and didn’t like that he always broke plans with her and his response, ”I love you” it felt like the wind was knocked out of my lungs, the room became dark, I couldn’t breathe. I could literally feel my heart tearing into a million pieces. I started texting her asking her who she was and why she was talking to my husband, of course she didn’t answer…he woke up and just acted dumbfounded. From that day forward I have always remembered her phone number. I left the house for the night feeling like all I wanted to do was die. Once I calmed down I decided to text her myself, I asked her if she knew he was married, I needed to know the truth.

I explained to her that we have 3 children whose lives are going to be turned upside down and I just needed to know the truth. She told me how sorry she was, she told me that he told her he was separated and that he lied to her and she was done with him. I felt bad for her, I couldn’t imagine meeting a man and finding out he was married after seeing him for some time, I saw her as a victim in all this. I’m not the type of woman to just blame the other woman. I felt she was a victim just as much as me. I tried to ask her some questions and her response, “That’s up to him to tell you” that should have been a red flag, however, I still saw her as a victim and felt bad for her, at this time I imagined she was probably hurting too. At this point I had no idea who this woman was. I made the decision I wanted to fight for our marriage, he made a mistake, we had been with each other for 16 years, and we built a life together. He told me that he would cut contact, he made a mistake, that he only told her he loved her because he was drunk. An old friend contacted me and told me she knew what was going on, up to this point my husband offered me very little detail even though I begged him to tell me, I had so many questions. When the friend told me she knew I asked what she knew because he offered me very little…and here comes the next blow. She was a housekeeper at my husband place of employment, working under a contractor. And the kicker…they have been seeing each other for almost a year!!!That’s when she went from a victim in my eyes to a HOMEWRECKER. My husband and I work for the same company. I am well know at my husband’s place of employment and was there frequently, she not only knew he was married but knew exactly who I was, she would come into the office, smile in my face and all the while screwing my husband…I was right back to feeling the same emotions I did in mid-January when I saw the text messages between the two of them. No wonder her response to me was that’s up to him to tell you. This trashy woman was hoping to get my husband to leave me and our children for her.

Don’t misunderstand I feel my husband is more to blame in all of this than she is but she knew he was married! I went from feeling sorry for her to seeing the truth, she is nothing but a nasty homewrecker…I found out earlier this week they are still in contact. I called her but of course she didn’t pick up the phone I left her a message and told her to reach out to me and let me know where she lives so I can bring her man and all his belongings to her. She can have him.. she probably feels she won, but I am the real winner here. It hurts like hell, my children are losing a full time father in their life. . but he is not the man I knew, he begs me not to leave and tells me she is the biggest mistake he has ever made in his life, and I believe him but I will not stick around to find out for sure. The two of them deserve each other. There are so many men you can go after why mess with a married man. I hope you are proud of your accomplishment of breaking our family apart. And unfortunately your ugly face and soul will forever be branded into the minds of both me and my children. As much as I hate you for what you’ve done I pray that you and your son never have to experience the pain you and him have afflicted onto mine. I hope you guys live happily ever after, but somehow I doubt that will happen because he is too busy begging me not to give up on him. Funny thing is karma always has a way of sneaking back up on us. At least I can walk away from this marriage with my head high because I am proud to say that I was 100% faithful and loyal to my husband all 16 years we were together.

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